I don't ask for much out of life, do I

A chance, a shot, an opportunity, an attempt, anything is all I ever really want.

To prove to myself whether I'm capable of anything at all.

The last 2 years of my life seems to have been composed of denying me a chance to even do anything, life's been basically shooting me down whenever I wanted anything at all

It's kind of like another good metaphor. The student who wants to try but is wrong a lot, but still tries, and eventually the teacher goes "Ok who can answer problem 1? .... Who can answer problem 1 besides jimmy...."

Coming to the end of my senior year I've seen quite a few missed opportunities on my part, and I'm willing to accept the inevitable disappointments in myself for them. But there are lots of other things that just won't budge and let me try.

And so I sit here thinking to myself at 1:38 AM, Memorial Day 2009

When's my chance? People tell me wait, but I'm sick of waiting. I'm tired of just being me, can't I be someone else? Everything for the last 2 years has been nothing but painful events to be quite honest. Or things that just pain me to see fly by.

It's a month tomorrow that I was diagnosed...feels like it's been several lifetimes over already :|

Is my life supposed to be doomed to be the one you remember as "Oh Mr. Unlucky, I remember him...."

Fuck that shit. Life can suck a fat one twice over :(