Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Un-fucking-believable
I literally catch no breaks, at all, for any reason, ever. And after this eventually gets read I'll probably get more shit from people. It doesn't end I think.
It upsets me that I try to care for a family that literally treats me like shit at every turn, it's like they need a person to beat up on and because all I do is attempt to appease, I fit the role perfectly.
And no matter what I do, every situation that has 2 possible outcomes literally always leaves me looking like the bad guy
Me questioning a passive aggressive piece of shit? I'm the douche bag for "inciting" it.
I become the passive aggressive piece of shit? Then I'm just an asshole and "Always" treat people bad.
So you know what, fuck you. I've put up with your fucking attitude for 4 years, 4 years of me TRYING to make things good, but you know, I'm not perfect and I have more things in my life to worry about than your feelings if you aren't even going to respect mine... and I'm not going to bother with it anymore, don't even bother trying to abuse something that doesn't belong to me in order to "prove a point". Don't call me out on "Treating you like shit" if you're going to keep doing it to me to every single time I see you. I thought we were literally past this since we just talked about how you thought I was fucked up for doing it. Is this revenge mode, your "gotta make it even" mode? Jesus why do I even bother trying to keep the peace when all it does is bite me in the ass each time. I still remember when you shit your pants because I gave someone else more money for their birthday than I did for yours ahahaha.
I love how the "Birthday Logic" applies to everyone's birthday but my own. That might be the only upsetting thing really. I don't care if friends don't bring me hordes of gifts, money, or even cards for that matter, I just get sad when I hear "oh it's their birthday it's ok" yet on mine I don't get to play that card :( ?
Actually I take that back a bit, I get upset at not being thanked for anything "generous" I do, but when I'm not generous I'm an asshole. (I can count 3 times of one particular event that I won't talk about here) It's just one of those things where....no I don't expect to be showered with praise or anything like that, but I like recognition...
And non-platonic relationships, my goodness I'm not even gonna start on that one here. Thanks for listening blogger I'm gonna go back to my hard rock now.
It upsets me that I try to care for a family that literally treats me like shit at every turn, it's like they need a person to beat up on and because all I do is attempt to appease, I fit the role perfectly.
And no matter what I do, every situation that has 2 possible outcomes literally always leaves me looking like the bad guy
Me questioning a passive aggressive piece of shit? I'm the douche bag for "inciting" it.
I become the passive aggressive piece of shit? Then I'm just an asshole and "Always" treat people bad.
So you know what, fuck you. I've put up with your fucking attitude for 4 years, 4 years of me TRYING to make things good, but you know, I'm not perfect and I have more things in my life to worry about than your feelings if you aren't even going to respect mine... and I'm not going to bother with it anymore, don't even bother trying to abuse something that doesn't belong to me in order to "prove a point". Don't call me out on "Treating you like shit" if you're going to keep doing it to me to every single time I see you. I thought we were literally past this since we just talked about how you thought I was fucked up for doing it. Is this revenge mode, your "gotta make it even" mode? Jesus why do I even bother trying to keep the peace when all it does is bite me in the ass each time. I still remember when you shit your pants because I gave someone else more money for their birthday than I did for yours ahahaha.
I love how the "Birthday Logic" applies to everyone's birthday but my own. That might be the only upsetting thing really. I don't care if friends don't bring me hordes of gifts, money, or even cards for that matter, I just get sad when I hear "oh it's their birthday it's ok" yet on mine I don't get to play that card :( ?
Actually I take that back a bit, I get upset at not being thanked for anything "generous" I do, but when I'm not generous I'm an asshole. (I can count 3 times of one particular event that I won't talk about here) It's just one of those things where....no I don't expect to be showered with praise or anything like that, but I like recognition...
And non-platonic relationships, my goodness I'm not even gonna start on that one here. Thanks for listening blogger I'm gonna go back to my hard rock now.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
How do you even compare?
2010:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hXO1v7OEpc
1989:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEL6_SuQCu8
is 22 years a long time? My goodness yes but...it's just not the same
No one's voice and demeanor stays the same forever, but the same drive in the 80s just isn't there in how they play now...
Do I say retire? No. But man, listening to their live shows from the last year compared to shit from over 20 years ago, I don't understand how they've gotten more and more boring to listen to.
I've probably watched that Seattle video a thousand times, hell I own the damn DVD, it's probably one of my favorite live performances ever.
A great friend recently made me consciously aware that I like what everyone else likes so nothing I listen to ever conflicts, and although it's not the entire idea, it's pretty much the truth. I don't like conflict, and getting told "your music sucks" over and over has gotten so tiring to the point where I don't even feel like standing up for myself for any reason. If all standing up for myself is going to do is provoke more anger for the music I like, what's the purpose in even arguing?
Do I generally like the music everyone else likes? Yeah because I'm not picky in my music. I always ask people what they like and I listen to it, and if I think it's good I'll just add it to my list of ever growing music. I can pretty much confidently say I probably have a wider array of genres, artists, and songs in my itunes library than most people (I may not have heard EVERY song in my 8k song library, but I've listened to every artist in it).
So do I have music on my library that I listen to that most people would argue "sucks"? Absolutely. I just don't play it all the time because I KNOW the majority of people would not want to listen to it.
I like the top of the charts radio top 200 bullshit, I like bands that pretty much no one has ever heard of. It's standings in relation to others means nothing to me. Influences mean nothing to me. I once wore a rise against shirt and some girl told me to listen to some band because it sounded just like rise against, went home found them and listened and it sounded like them but at the same time sounded absolutely retarded.
I dunno what the purpose of this is, I was just going through some old metallica and realized that I don't know why I don't stand up for my music. Is it because I'm lame, or is it because I'm not passionate enough, or is it because it shouldn't matter why I like something? Who knows
I'm lazy and don't want to study anatomy, peace out blogger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hXO1v7OEpc
1989:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEL6_SuQCu8
is 22 years a long time? My goodness yes but...it's just not the same
No one's voice and demeanor stays the same forever, but the same drive in the 80s just isn't there in how they play now...
Do I say retire? No. But man, listening to their live shows from the last year compared to shit from over 20 years ago, I don't understand how they've gotten more and more boring to listen to.
I've probably watched that Seattle video a thousand times, hell I own the damn DVD, it's probably one of my favorite live performances ever.
A great friend recently made me consciously aware that I like what everyone else likes so nothing I listen to ever conflicts, and although it's not the entire idea, it's pretty much the truth. I don't like conflict, and getting told "your music sucks" over and over has gotten so tiring to the point where I don't even feel like standing up for myself for any reason. If all standing up for myself is going to do is provoke more anger for the music I like, what's the purpose in even arguing?
Do I generally like the music everyone else likes? Yeah because I'm not picky in my music. I always ask people what they like and I listen to it, and if I think it's good I'll just add it to my list of ever growing music. I can pretty much confidently say I probably have a wider array of genres, artists, and songs in my itunes library than most people (I may not have heard EVERY song in my 8k song library, but I've listened to every artist in it).
So do I have music on my library that I listen to that most people would argue "sucks"? Absolutely. I just don't play it all the time because I KNOW the majority of people would not want to listen to it.
I like the top of the charts radio top 200 bullshit, I like bands that pretty much no one has ever heard of. It's standings in relation to others means nothing to me. Influences mean nothing to me. I once wore a rise against shirt and some girl told me to listen to some band because it sounded just like rise against, went home found them and listened and it sounded like them but at the same time sounded absolutely retarded.
I dunno what the purpose of this is, I was just going through some old metallica and realized that I don't know why I don't stand up for my music. Is it because I'm lame, or is it because I'm not passionate enough, or is it because it shouldn't matter why I like something? Who knows
I'm lazy and don't want to study anatomy, peace out blogger
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