This is an idea that I actually struggle with everyday, considering the only thing that keeps me going is my...will to basically NOT be dead. I complain a lot about a bunch of shit, and always wonder what kind of burden I am on people, and why people even like me sometimes.
But then something like this comes along and all of a sudden none of it matters. Out of all of the people younger than me that I actually knew, I can't imagine it to be Doug of all people. Even if our interaction was solely through debate, it was still a ton of fun.
I decided to search for him in the few albums that I actually have that you'd be in, and somehow there's not ONE picture Doug.
I think I'm just going to outwardly complain less. I don't know why I feel so shitty when shit like this happens to people all the time. I hate when people tell me "Don't complain, because there's someone who is worse off than you", and I still do because it's a gigantic logical failure, but for the moment I do feel that I'll just leave my own problems alone
I will not use trite expressions like RIP or anything like that, because they're nothing other than feel good words that are the socially acceptable thing to say. On the other hand I will say that I hope his family recovers quickly and recovers well....because I don't think I could do it.
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I barely ever talked to the guy, but you just can't help but be depressed by it. Like immensely, profoundly depressed. I mean, the more I think about it, the sicker I feel.
Of course, nobody talks bad about you when you're dead, but Doug.. baseball, debate, the Gamut, six months from graduating with honors, HEADED TO ANNAPOLIS. The list goes on, and with each subsequent accolade comes a horror seldom experienced - one that chills to the bone and cuts to the heart. One that causes you to question faith as well as reason, because neither can justify such a travesty.
It's times like these you need a DeLorean to go back in time.
To save Doc Brown.
Sorry I had to get all.. writey. Tragedy brings out the writer in me. Also, I just needed to say/write that. Now I can sleep.
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